The first day of dropping off baby was the easiest so far — in part, because it was later in the morning!
Day two was the first morning at our new regular time. After getting up for baby’s early feeding, I pretty much had to stay up for the rest of the day in order to get myself bathed, bottles ready, bags packed, breakfast and lunch made. Kind of a rude shock after our living at baby’s whim for four months!
What I didn’t account for: Babysitting isn’t just from the minute I start work to the minute I get off. There’s easily another 20 minutes each day to pay for between when I drop her off and when I arrive at work, and then the same at the end of a shift.
Baby is breastfed. Estimating how many ounces she’ll need while we’re apart + getting it bottled = challenge. Baby was hungry on Day 2 and had to have her first two ounces of formula (which she took without batting an eye). I felt guilty.
Apparently she is crankier for the sitter than she is at home. I felt guilty.
When we get home, we snuggle in our chair, and she falls asleep pretty quick. Naps quite a bit now in the afternoons, because her cousins tire her out!
Bedtime comes, and she tries to buck sleep. I think about keeping her up, too — once she goes to sleep, then our relaxed time together is over until the next afternoon. I let her cry herself to sleep tonight and was a little disappointed when it worked!
I got coffee this morning without having to drag the baby with me. I felt guilty.
So far, it seems like a lot of “working” motherhood is about feeling guilty.
(On the plus side, my job is going well.)